


The Things He'll Never Say

by Excelsia



Category: VIXX
Genre: Developing Friendships, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:39:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9397907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Excelsia/pseuds/Excelsia
Summary: Hakyeon has so much he wants to give, but learns that sometimes being with someone isn't that simple.





	

“Let's meet.”

Hakyeon couldn't believe his eyes when he'd first seen the text earlier that week. You see, Taekwoon was never really one to initiate. Especially not after what had happened.

_“I just...I'm sorry, I know you said it's not something you want right now but I just had to tell--”_

_“Stop,”  said Taekwoon. “Just stop, stop please. I…” he was backing away from Hakyeon now, arms up in defense, his eyes scrunched shut. He was having trouble breathing._

_“T-Taekwoon are you okay? Oh my god,”_

_“I'm--I'll be fine,” he said, and his throat sounded constricted. He opened his eyes and met Hakyeon's gaze. He looked sorrowful, but more than that he looked terrified._

_“I'm sorry,” Hakyeon said firmly, honestly, now that he had Taekwoon's attention on him. He wanted to make sure he heard him, and knew he was being sincere._

_“I have to go,” was Taekwoon's quiet response. He lowered his gaze and turned to walk away. Hakyeon couldn't bring himself to do or say anything else because he should've known, Taekwoon was perfectly clear about this and he was an_ idiot _for trying to push something that Taekwoon was far from ready for._

_So he stood there and watched Taekwoon walk down the pier and into the town, feeling his heart sink down into the cold, dark water below as he berated himself for acting so selfish. What could've maybe, possibly, almost been the light he needed in his life disappeared into the fluorescent shop signs and decorative lanterns and sidewalk lamp posts of the town, out of his reach. And that was the last he'd seen or heard from Taekwoon, almost four months ago._

_Until earlier that week._

When Taekwoon rounded the corner and came into view from Hakyeon's table in the outdoor patio, Hakyeon remembered instantly why he'd put it all on the line in the first place.

Taekwoon was beautiful. “Beautiful” was Hakyeon's special secret word for Taekwoon, one he'd never say to his face, at least not seriously, because if he ever did he would undoubtedly let slip out how much he meant it. The thing about the word “beautiful” was that it was common in such a way that people often forgot what it really _meant_.

Taekwoon was tall, his limbs almost gangly, especially with the way he held himself. His clothes were fashionable, but in a simple way that never brought attention to himself. His hair hung over his face sometimes, maybe deliberately, to help him hide whenever he was out in the world but didn't want to be. Most people saw a blank expression when they looked at his face, if not an angry one, since his eyes tended to shoot daggers to defend himself, and his lips were often pursed in discomfort.

Hakyeon saw all of these things, but he knew Taekwoon well enough to see them as parts of a whole, parts of an entire soul that existed within, throughout, and beyond that surface.

At least, he hoped he did.

You see, this was where things got a little complicated. They had only met before the start of summer that year, and yeah, Hakyeon knew it sounded like just another summer crush, but with every fiber of his being he fought that notion.

This was not something Hakyeon had expected or wanted at all, at least not at first. All they did was talk, get to know each other, become friends, _good_ friends. They were able to talk about things they never knew they'd needed or wanted to talk about before, and there was a level of comfort they had with each other that couldn't be described as anything other than _natural_.

At least, that was what Hakyeon had thought. And hoped. Before he went and messed everything up by confessing.

That was the thing, though, Hakyeon thought to himself as Taekwoon spotted him and approached the table. Hakyeon had never been able to contain feelings this strong, romantic or not. His whole life he'd felt that if he wasn't honest with people about his feelings, he'd probably explode. This was why he felt so hurt, so conflicted about Taekwoon. Not sharing how he felt weighed down his heart, but at the same time he hadn't wanted to risk scaring Taekwoon away, which he'd ultimately done anyway.

How could one person want to give so much to someone who didn't want it?

That was what hurt the most: it wasn't personal. Not at all. But it might as well have been.

Taekwoon pulled out the chair across from Hakyeon and sat down, offering a shy smile as he did. That was good, Hakyeon thought. He wasn't totally comfortable again yet, but this was a small step. He'd wanted to meet up. He wanted to fix their friendship. He valued Hakyeon, and this effort, which might seem minimal to others but was actually a lot for Taekwoon, meant something.

Maybe not the something Hakyeon hoped for, secretly dreamed of, but that was okay. It would have to be.

“Hi,” Taekwoon said. His hands were on his lap, and Hakyeon knew he was fidgeting with the zipper of his jacket.

Hakyeon didn't know whether his heart was repairing itself or breaking even more, seeing and talking to Taekwoon again after so long. All he wanted was a chance for something more, but he knew he had to choose between friendship or nothing all. So he smiled, pushing down the jumble of emotions bubbling under the surface and letting only one come through for now--happiness at seeing his friend. He replied:

  
“Hi.”


End file.
